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To say that Joe Buck doesn’t have a bias against Philadelphia is like saying cheesesteaks taste better in California; it's a blatant lie and utterly preposterous. Buck is a highly revered and respectable announcer, but not when he’s covering Philly teams. His hardly-subtle disdain for the Phillies and Eagles comes not in the form of direct criticism, but by way of dull and unenthusiastic commentary during clearly momentous occasions for our squads. When Donovan McNabb and Freddie Mitchell connected on the infamous 4th and 26 play, Buck was unimpressed. When Matt Stairs clobbered his series-defining pinch-hit homerun during the NLCS against the LA Dodgers in 2008, Buck’s disgust was palpable. Listening to him call the final out in the Phillies 2008 World Series victory was akin to hearing paint dry. As such, we’ve compiled a list of things we’d rather do than hear Mr. Buck call Phillies and Eagles games.

Press the Mute Button
If Joe Buck commentates in the middle of the forest and no one is around to hear him, does he make a sound? Who the hell cares? No sound is better than Joe’s sound.

Listen to Paris Hilton’s Music on Repeat
She’s a jack of no trades and obviously a master of none, but that doesn’t keep her from trying. That naïve sense of ability is so much more credible than Buck’s sense of impartiality.

Watch Gigli
Considered by many to be the worst film ever made, it’s a welcomed diversion from Buck’s snide commentary.

Write a Screenplay for the Gigli Sequel
It’d be easy; all we’d have to do is write a script with no creativity, sophistication or interest. Kind of like how Buck calls Philly's games.

Create a Harry Kalas Compilation Tape
HK was and will always be the best at what he did. Hearing those golden pipes is almost enough to wash away the dirty dialogue spewed by Buck. Almost.

Engage in Political Conversation with the Homeless Guy on the Corner
Sure, the discussion would be irreverent and incoherent, but at least it’d be inspired and lively.

Play This
Over and over and over and over and over again.


 
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