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No Dress Code
  
 We mean this in a very specific way: there is no dress code. Wearing the same thing you were wearing last night? Sounds good. Still donning that ridiculous velour pant and fur boot combination that you reached for when FedEx came knocking at 9am? Cool. You can literally get away with wearing whatever you want while you're in a dive bar; and if you look around, you'll immediately know how far people are willing to push things when there's no rules regarding appearance.

 

Smoking Is Still Cool
  
 Like most things that are fun but bad for you, smoking went on the ban list several years ago. But in some bars, you'll still see the locals convene for some good old fashioned chain smoking, most often accompanied by oversized ash trays, jittery lighter-flicking hands and one of those dispensers that's always fresh out of whatever you smoke.

 

A Working Jukebox
  
 Again, this is a very specific kind of jukebox. We're not referring to the MP3 players present in most city bars where The Black Keys, Radiohead and The Mars Volta go on heavy rotation. We mean the ones where you have to physically flip through the pages to get past all the bad mid-70's shit to find something you recognize.

 

No-Frills Bar Staff
  
 If you're actually in a dive bar, chances are you won't be served by a 20-something bartender who's a dead-ringer for Olivia Munn. Usually, the bartender is some dude who has been working there for 15+ years and starts making your drink when you're only half-finished ordering it. Tip well, don't ask too many questions--this is not the time to ask for anything that requires "layering" or has fruit in the name.

 

Same Crowd, Different Day
  
 A favorite of born-and-bred locals and restaurant industry employees who are too cool for their own scene, a dive bar attracts a steady stream of returning customers. If you're logging a significant amount of time in the same place, you'll start to recognize the other patrons.

 

Lack Of Marketing
  
 The plastic menus (if they have menus) will have spelling or grammatical errors that make you cringe (or, if you're a writer, make you point it out in disbelief to everyone you're with, which no one ever cares about). Also, their logo is probably non-existent. In fact, you probably stumbled upon the place by chance; there's no glaring signage or cohesive branding anywhere. When you're a dive bar, you don't need it.

 

Weird Drink Specials
  
 You know how some stores will advertise their prices, hinting that something is "on sale" when it's really just the regular price with larger lettering? Same idea here. Dive bars hang signs about 2-for-1 shots of some disgusting liquor, specifically for the purpose of drawing patronage from the newbies. If it seems like a special and you're nervous enough without a drink menu, you'll order it.

 

Take-Out Is Their Best Seller
  
 There are some places that seem to draw a good crowd, if only for the 5-10 minutes the "crowd" stops by to do something other than drink. Lots of people swing by for a six-pack, some even hit the ATM machine or cigarette dispenser on their way out. As a dive bar, it's pretty much assumed that you're not only a watering hole, but a one-stop shop for people who don't feel like walking the extra three blocks to 7-Eleven. 

 

It Has a Vague and Confusing Name
  
 It takes a perfect balance of ill-conceived ideas and a general knack for attracting vagrants for a dive bar to manifest. One important part of this delicate process is the lack of actual name or the presence of a strange and seemingly unexplainable name. Ray's Happy Birthday Bar, for instance, makes absolutely no sense until you've enjoyed a round there and got the explanation from a regular. Then, it hooks you in with its unique charm (or lack thereof) and before you know, you've become a regular.

 

Ubiquitous 70s Sports Paraphernalia 
  
 Almost every Philly bar has various sports paraphernalia hanging on the walls; it makes the atmosphere more festive. But you know you're in a dive bar when the walls are plastered with faded newspaper articles and autographed photos of Eagles players that died before your parents were even born. The owners either don't care that the stuff is outdated or it has been on the walls so long that it's physically impossible to remove it.


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