featured



 
BACK TO HOME

Spring Garden Tunnel


  Many of you seeking a quick and easy route into West Philly have probably used this ill-conceived tunnel that resembles a steel birth canal. For starters, you have to have the agility of Cris Angel to maneuver through its excruciatingly narrow lane; one false move and you’ll get turned around with absolutely no hope for escape. Also notice how the oddly positioned, ambiguously marked turn-off allows for virtually no advanced warning of oncoming traffic. The other traffic could be blue for all I know. Every time I enter this tunnel I barely escape being sideswiped by the oncoming traffic coming from the right. Fun fact: this tunnel was the original inspiration for Sylvester Stallone’s movie Daylight.


Anti-Credit Card Cab Drivers

  If you’ve ever taken a cab only to find out that the driver refuses to accept your ATM or credit card, fret not. You may be tempted to take up his offer to take you to an ATM but you would be remiss. Any and all cab drivers in Philadelphia are now required to take ATM and debit cards. Magically, the previous “broken” credit card machine will fix itself if you cite this rule to the driver and often times, if the machine actually IS broken, you’ll get a free ride.


Driving on Trolley Tracks

  Being able to perfectly maneuver is crucial to reinforcing your local rep. If you slide back and forth and keep swirving to find just the right position, every car around you will instantly think your some country bumpkin transplant. The same goes for the cobble stone roads in Old City. But like most Philadelphians, you probably don’t get much practice because, well, who drives in Old City, or in the entire city for that matter, when they don’t have to. But here’s a tip, instead of trying to find the sweet spot when traversing these roads, just let go of the wheel and trust that you’re crappy Rav 4 will make. It takes a Zen-like confidence to hit that sweet spot and as soon as you try to find it, you’ve already lost.



Tickets From The PPA

  If you've watched Parking Wars, you're probably downright terrified of finding the PPA hunched over at your car. After all, there are about 32 signs telling you what to do and when to do it, so we don't blame you second-guessing your spot. Now here's the good news. While we can't teach you how to read the signs (we ALL have trouble with that) we can tell you that you are always welcome to A) Politely ask the agent to rescind your ticket while they're still writing it or B) Plead not guilty and state your case at parking court. If you have a legitimate reason, you can even avoid court but writing out a statement when you send back the paper.


Moving Tailgate Parties To Find Space

  If you've been to an Eagles game lately, you'll notice that parts of K-Lot are now blocked by the new construction of the Philly Live complex--therefore, parking is even more of a nightmare. When you pull up to a paid lot that looks full, but isn't marked as such--take your chances. There are usually about 10 spots that are inexplicably open, yet no one has been brave enough to drive through the hoardes of Birds fans to find. With that, there's another 30 that are blocked by the corner of some jabroni's grill, an issue which can be resolved by a quick "hey - can you move your party 6 inches to the left?" or a well-timed E-A-G-L-E-S chant. Sounds silly, but really, we've amazed out-of-town friends and ourselves with the ability to get a close parking spot only 20 minutes before kick-off.



 
past articles

Top 10 Philly Comedians
Ten of Philly's best homegrown comics that have mastered the art of the open mic.
Into It/Over It: April 2012
Xfinity LIVE on the rise, Pink Slime on the fall.
Complaint Department: Bouncers
During a recent visit to a certain spot with the latter type of management style, we came up with a few complaints about the way bouncers handle their patrons on a busy Saturday night.
Things to look forward To: Spring 2012
Our annual list of things you can look forward to this spring.
April Fool's Day: Office Pranks Guide
Our list of ten office pranks for April Fool's Day that (probably) won't get your fired.
see more articles