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The Monte Carlo Optimization Method
Instead of studying boring old stars, astrophysicist Dr. Jason Steffen used his powerful brain to develop an alogrithm that cuts your boarding time on flights in half!		 Waiting
I can't download and watch the entire first season of Dexter while in line to board my flight, but they can implement a faster method to get gramps into an aisle seat.
Jon Finkel
Magic the Gathering World champion, Jon was the unwitting subject of a painfully shallow article highlighting the plight of one OKcupid user.		 Alyssa Bereznak
The gizmodo blogger wrote a rather pointless screed on the perils of dating a Magic the Gathering world champion much to the delight of vengeful bloggers and proud geeks.

Turntable.fm
Instead of letting our Phish-loving co-worker dictate our daily soundtrack, we've switched to the all-hands-on-deck Turntable.fm. Essentially a digital DJ booth, Turntable lets up to five users log in and add songs to the queue. You can "lame" the tracks you want to skip (it takes two or more downvotes to skip the song) and "awesome" the ones you love. A playlist ruled by democracy, finally.		 Pandora
"If you like The Black Keys, then you'll love [insert name of band that sounds nothing like The Black Keys and is in no way related to anything you'd ever listen to on your own accord.]" - Pandora, probably.
The Michael Vick Method
Against all conceivable odds (bad past decisions, no opening for a starting QB, little love and/or initial appreciation from local fans) Vick played the game and let his actions on the field drown out the questions about his character. Fast forward to now, we've got a starting QB with stellar stats and a stunning 100-million dollar contract under his belt.		 The Diva Method
Yeah, Chris Johnson is a phenomenal athlete. He deserves a big contract--and that's why they offered him a gig as the highest paid running back in the NFL. That wasn't good enough, though, so we're waiting to see how his show-down for "highest paid playmaker" pans out before we draft him onto our Fantasy team.
Fall on the East Coast
As much as we love summer, we're ready to take a few months away from the 90-degree days that have sent our PECO bills through the proverbial roof. (Note: We will probably be pining for a heat wave once January hits; stay tuned for a retraction on this one.)		 Natural Disasters on the East Coast
Between the earthquake and the hurricane, we're starting to wonder why we opted for this four-season way of life over the beautiful weather found in the storm-ridden South and the fault-lined West. We have blizzards! Why do we need to deal with this other shit too?
Twitter
If it weren't for Twitter, we'd have taken at least 15-20 minutes to discover that yes, those rumblings in the office were in fact an earthquake, not just our ADD-affected co-worker kicking the desk. Plus, we're convinced that limiting ALL communications (email, text, FB posts) to 140-characters would do more for our sanity than therapy ever could.		 Those "other" social media sites
With new "where are you?" and "who are you with?" features that resemble a nagging girlfriend, Facebook has slowly crept its way into the 'necessary evil' category. Between that and Google+ (which we, by the way, did NOT check after last week's earthquake--or since we got it, for that matter) we are downright sick of social networking platforms that force you to digitally share your life with your real-life friends. Who wants that?!
AirBnB
When you stay at the shore for a week, you usually rent a house, right? This is the same thing--only you can rent a house, villa, penthouse, apartment, room for a night (or a month) almost anywhere in the world. It's cheap, it's awesome and (now that USA Today gave them all that terrible press) it's also insured.		 Facebook Marketplace
Why does this functionality even exist? Post on Craigslist if you want to actually rent/sell something. We promise, NO ONE is checking this.
Using SEPTA
Our daily commute is still no picnic--but sleeping on the ride into work has been much safer than half-dozing while behind the wheel of a car. 		 Driving to work
The drive into the office should take 30 minutes. Has it even taken 30 minutes? Of course not. No one hits the gas when the lights turns green, everyone has a bone to pick with your speed (too fast? maniac. too slow? an idiot.) and we're downright sick of the bonafide obstacle course (construction, accidents, flooding, mattress in the left lane) presented to us on a daily basis.


about the author
Heyphilly.com Staff
The Heyphilly.com staff possesses insider knowledge of the best bars and restaurants in the city and prides themselves on bringing you the best beer and food specials in town. Think we deserve some lovin' for our no-holds-barred view on the city? How about some thinly-veiled hate mail? Drop us a line here: editorial@aycmedia.com. Either way, we love attention.

 
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